Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
love makes seman taste better
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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