At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
