Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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