Quick, to the slutcave!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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