it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
