after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
