Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love you. Go after that dick
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