my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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