I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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