If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
