this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
