i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
