You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
