the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I looked at my own cervix.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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