Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
