I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
