everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
