Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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