he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
