That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
