don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
