is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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