Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
