It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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