I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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