Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
