since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
