Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
