I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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