Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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