Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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