I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
