yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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