Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh god it's open bar.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
