so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize