I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
