Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
