just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize