Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
