I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
