i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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