sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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