Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Pooping to opera.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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