where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
third nipple confirmed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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