you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dicks are not precious.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize