Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize