spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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