I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
