im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
