this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
