yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
