the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
