That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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