Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize