wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
