In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize