I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
