im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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