OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
