Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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