I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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